A lot happy, a little sad, a little heartfelt...

A little of everything I guess. I have started running again in the mornings. Just about 30 minutes each morning. I run between 2 1/2 and 3 miles, and I love it. I forgot how much I need that "me" time. I don't get a whole lot of that...and I know lots of women feel the same way. My husband works a ton so the kids are with me A LOT! Sometimes the three of them will nap at the same time, but most of the time not. :-) I just need time to collect my thoughts. The 30 minute run each morning gives me that. I think about life, the kids, Ryan, work, errands...thoughts I haven't been able to keep straight for months. Don't get me wrong here..I still lack brainpower that gets sucked away as each child has been born. Trust me, I am not the same organized, keeping track of dates and appointments gal that I used to be. But since I started running again, I feel "clearer" if you will. I feel released. I feel open. Energized. Ambitious. And dare I say a little more organized? :-)

I haven't exercised on a regular basis over the last six years or so for one reason or another--I was pregnant (three times if you lost track); I was nursing; I was pregnant again; I was nursing again; I felt exhausted all the time; I went back to work full time from part time; I moved to a different grade level; Ryan took a different job; I was pregnant again; I was nursing again....I think there is a pattern here. All of these were easy excuses to not exercise.

Now, I am free. I am not working right now. Ryan has a great assistant at work. I am not pregnant. Carly developed an allergy to breast milk and had to be moved to formula to gain more weight. Why the little bit sad? I won't have any more kids. That chapter of my life is over. My tubes are tied. We made that choice together. It was the right choice. I know that deep down. We can't afford any more. I'm not a good "pregnant person." I am miserable most of my pregnancies. Why then? Why do I feel sad at being done? Why can't I say with determination that we are done having babies? Why do I feel a small void still? Maybe because I waited my whole life to have babies so moving on from that is like finishing a chapter in a book that I couldn't wait to get to...and now it is done. I know that the next chapters will be equally if not more exciting and rewarding. But still....

I feel heartfelt. Heartfelt to have two huge inspirations in my exercise quest. My sister and my friend Meredith . A huge "shout out" to both of them. As I run each morning, I think of them running. I am not even half of the runners they both are. They are inspirational. Runners. Mothers. Friends. Sisters. Wives. Daughters. Inspiring. Dedicated. Confident. Their energy fuels me. Their dedication inspires me. Motivates me. Moves me.

Thankful. Thankful for my 30 minutes each morning to watch the fog lift from the valley. To listen to my favorite music as loud as I'd like. Thankful to have a break from listening to "kids" music all the time. :-) Thankful for my three healthy kids and great husband. Thankful for a life beyond anything I ever imagined. Thankful to be "a lot" happy!

Egg-stra special Easter pics...(they're "egg-stra" late!)

We had a fantanstic and very busy Easter weekend this year. We started off with an Easter egg hunt at a local community center that we go to every year. They have bounce houses, tons of food, face painting, and egg hunts for all the different age groups. Emma LOVEs cotton candy now as you can see below. Dylan really cleaned up in his age groups egg hunt. We bounced, hunted, ate, and had our arms painted...all for free. A local Christian church puts the event on as one of their outreaches. A truly wonderful event that the children love

That evening we had Julie and Courtney's familys over for pizza and good times. The kids all played, we all talked about school (us three girls are all teachers), raising our kids, and sports (mostly just the guys on that one, shocking huh?). We watched the movie "Astro Boy" and Ryan lit the fire pit in the back. We let the kids roast marshmellows in it and we made smores. Such a great night with such great people!

On Easter we had an egg hunt with our wonderfu friends and neighbors the Shones. Scott snuck over to our house around 6 am and hid around 100 eggs (maybe more?) in our backyard. After all the kids woke up, Keegan and Tanner came running over to hunt for all the eggs that the Easter Bunny hid at Dylan and Emma's.They all had so much fun and were so cute! We had breakfast with them as well, and Ryan had to work that morning/early afternoon for a little while.

We were wiped out from the morning's festivies...okay I was REALLY wiped out. I could barely get it together to get lunch for the kids and get them down for a nap. I laid down on my bed with Carly to catch a little nap for myself. Around 3:40 the whole house started to shake, and shake, and shake. I held on to Carly and waited for it to stop. We have small earthquakes often it seems and the kids just sleep through them. Not this time. Dylan was crying and calling for me. He has a loft bed so it was really moving around when he was trying to sleep. Poor guy. Emma woke up too to let me know that her blinds were moving back and forth. We were all a little shaken up over the event. In case you didn't hear, the quake was a 7.2 and the center of it was about 100 miles away from us.

Ryan got home from work and we colored our Easter eggs. I know, I know...you are supposed to color them before Easter morning, but we --meaning me--never really got that far. We colored them and had fun! The Easter bunny was good to us this year!

Us!

Last week Ryan was on furlough (unpaid vacation) from Monday-Sunday. All the GMs, Regional Directors, and department heads have to take two weeks of furlough this year. I LOVE having him home all week, especially since I am on maternity leave now until September. The not getting paid part really stinks though. Since I took extended leave to be home with the kids, my paychecks are no more as well. Oh well. We just learn to live a little "leaner" and use all of the coupons we can find! :-) I am taking an additional eight furlough days next school year too. We are thankful to have our jobs, jobs we enjoy, and jobs that support our family. We both have our dream jobs...and enjoyed some truly wonderful family time last week. Here are some pics of one of our excursions from last week. We went to the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach (thanks mom and dad for the family membership!)and then went and had lunch at Ryan's course. D and E LOVE riding on golf carts at "daddy's work"--A fun day!

Lefty and Love

Wow. I am still thinking about that moment yesterday. The moment that Phil Mickelson wons the Masters. Did you see it? He took his last stroke on 18, the ball when in, he threw his hands up in the air with an unbelievable smile and then....he walked directly to his wife. He embraced her so quickly and hard and lovingly, she did not even get the chance to put her arms around him at first. He kept hugging her. And hugging her. And hugging her. Then she managed to get her arms out and embrace him back. They both shed tears together. Wow. I didn't know that my husband's interest in the Masters and golf in general would lead me to experience such a raw, emotional, completely overwhelming moment. A moment that our media often does not allow us to see or be part of.

I thought alot about this last night. The love between Phil (aka "Lefty") and his wife gave me goosebumps. He had played one hell of a round a golf, but also he had played it with such passion and emotion...just like the love he showed for his wife. Now of course I don't know them personally nor do I know the ins and outs of their marriage, but something that real can't be made up on the spot on live television. I am so tired of hearing about Tiger Woods, Jesse James, and any other celebrity that can't seem to stay faithful these days. Down here in Southern California, it's everywhere. Even the local news has to comment on the latest sighting of Sandra Bullock or whoever. Seriously? Leave these women, or men, whomever the victim is-- alone already. I would be more intrigued to see athletes and celebrities demonstrating loving acts than hearing how many women there were or what rehab someone is attending. (Sex rehab???? Seriously now. That is a completely different post!)

I already knew from my husband that Phil was a nice guy on the golf course and had a good reputation as a golfer and athlete. My admiration for a man I have never met grew tenfold yesterday in a matter of minutes.

Oh by the way---I have never sat and watched a golf tournament before yesterday. :-) (I think my husband is just a little proud of me..... :-)

Like a Good Bottle of Wine....

I've made that comparison so many times over the last eight weeks in our lives....just like a good bottle of wine, our marriage, our family, and our lives continue to get better with time. Don't get me wrong, we already had a great life, but with Carly's arrival our lives now somehow seem even more fulfilled. I do enjoy the occasional glass of wine, usually white though. I would much prefer a fruity "girlie" drink to slurp down, but wine (and lots of whining) are all we usually have around here. A week or so ago, we has friends over for dinner with their kids. We all watched a movie, ordered pizzas, lit a fire in the pit in the backyard and made smores. I asked Ryan to open a bottle of wine up. It was red wine and I was certain that it would take me forever to drink the cup. To my surprise, it was so good. After commenting to Ryan how much I liked that particular bottle, he said, "Of course you do, it's an expensive one!" Not thinking anything of it at the time, but realizing later that the bottle was 10 or more years old, just like our marriage. I enjoy being married so much. Just as I enjoyed that glass of wine, along with another (ha!) that night. :-)

I have always loved being married, but something different has happened in our marriage recently, or over the last few years. We have become partners. I love being a wife, mother, friend, teacher, sister, and daughter. I love my children so, so, so much. But I am IN love with my husband. I think it is important to remember that in our busy lives. The kids consume so much of our time and energy. By the time our husbands get a moment or two with us, we are tired, cranky, irritable, and just plain done. They need our attention too. Don't get me wrong, I still act tired and very irritable on a daily basis. But I am trying to cut the time down that these "bouts" with crankiness last. I want my children to know how much I love their father and that our love is the foundation for this family. If I just tell Ryan that I am feeling cranky, it is SO much better than when I just snap at him or in general. He doesn't exactly embrace my, "Honey, I am just really grumpy right now," but he does appreciate the heads up.

I feel so content with life. Just like I did when I sipped that delicious red wine (Robert Mondavi Private Selections). Just like that bottle, life just keeps getting better all the time!

This house...

This house is our home. It only stays clean for a few hours (if we are lucky) and constantly has noise in it--laughter, crying, shouting, playing, talking, strategizing, plotting, loving words. Our house is busy. Crazy. Like a circus at times really. Everyone talking at once. All at once. Well, except Carly who get her cries and screams in likewise. Lot of noise. We love it. Well okay, maybe every once in a while it is a bit much, but really, I don't know what to do with myself on those rare occasions that it is quiet. On any given day you might find this in our house...

A little bit of goofy!


Children ripping through their Easter treasures!


Children hunting for a MASSIVE amount of Easter eggs!


Marshmellows being roasted California style in our backyard!


Blanket forts taking up the whole family room!


A child dressed as a princess hiding out in her brother's room!

Blessings

I have mentioned this many times before, but we are truly blessed in our lives by incredible family, and friends that are family, that continually surround us every day. These are a few of Carly's "admirers'" I thought I got a picture of everyone but alas am missing a few...like my dear, awesome, incredible friend Courtney who came to visit me in the hospital and even brought me Valentine sugar cookies! My terrific, inspiring co-worker and friend Fran...she is the kind of person anyone would be lucky enough to work with and learn from. My beautiful friend Krista that is incredible at everything she does in life....she came to the house to see Carly and of course brought Dylan and Emma gifts too. When she pulled up, D and E were out playing with my mom. They asked Krista if she was here to see the new baby, to which she replied, "I am here to see you too!" Incredible! I also failed to get a picture of Carly with my Dad while he was here with my mom. He is the most amazing grandfather with patience beyond meaning. Dylan and Emma ADORE him! Below are pictures of more amazingly, incredible people that bless our family....




Carly with her godfather, Uncle Mike! We love our Uncle Mike!



Carly with my mom...truly as incredible as moms get. My friend Krista said if you look up the word "saint" the definition would be Sandy...my mom!



Carly with "Miss Kari" as D and E call her...a truly inspiring mom, friend, and person. We were blessed when we moved into our neighborhood three years ago and my children found another home away from home at her house.



Carly with Auntie Julie...the "bestest" friend anyone could EVER ask for. She is amazing, gifted, and loving beyond words.



Love. Need I say more?



Carly with Grammy "J"...Julie's mom, who continually loves my children as her own grandchildren. Julie's love and support are mirrored by her mother always.



Carly with one of her biggest fans, Zachy! He loved her from the moment he saw her. We love you Zachary!